Thursday, 31 May 2012

"Trials by Fire" - The Wounded Healer

It seems that many of us have much bravado in between incarnations, 
when choosing our life-path & life-lessons.
Occasionally some people can become consumed by their own choices; 
especially as we forget that we have forgotten who we really are & 
that it was ourselves who chose these dramatic life-lessons.

'High-voltage souls' (typically marked by the number 11), 
can create existences which are initially fraught 
with trauma & adversity. 
 This vibration is one of the visionary & its dualistic nature 
coupled with immense power and insights, 
can offer great gifts for humanity.
If the powerful energy of a master number goes unreleased, 
it can create an internal storm - when there is frustration without an outlet, 
it can turn in on itself which can lead to self-annihilation.

Dramatic, highly challenging  events that occur repeatedly, 
can make life tumultuous & seemingly tenuous. 
Serious 'life & death' events are often encountered along this path - 
 challenges that will either make or break you.

Taking yourself to the brink of your own existence, 
can have serious repercussions; even with resolve,
and resilience, but if these soul-tests are survived
 understood & used for empowerment, 
these gifts gained from the endurance are exceptional.

Often broken from the very beginning,
 you continue to attract all types of abuse,
& criticisms that reinforce your pain.
 Others can feel your vulnerability & use it against you. 

Whenever you reach out for comfort -
you realise there is no where to turn, no one seems to care,
or understand you - There is no relief from this inner & outer angst. 
You feel persecuted & vilified, cast asunder,
having no idea what you did to deserve this rejection.

Self-doubt & misery consumes you, 
even 'self medication' - does't numb the existential pain,   
You start to drown in self-pity & emotional despair. 

This 'dark night of the soul', is actually a self test, 
the soul testing its own ability to withstand adversity, 
to experience rock bottom, through many different experiences. 
A temporary trip into futility & desolation, which seems endless at the time. 

Thoughts of suicide may start to appeal, as a relief to the pain,  
you are so lost that all your can do to save yourself is surrender to the 
depression, there is no energy left to fight it 
 Nothing else matters anymore.

If the 'health-care' system intervenes in time;
They medicate, counsel, treat you - 
confining you with others of acute suffering; 
which offers a sense of perspective, but may also add to the pain.
They do not really address spiritual imbalance, which is really the 
most common source of the suffering.

Those who cannot deal with the barbarity of this planet 
That have continual questions that others can never seem to answer; 
are infact the 'sane' ones, simply re-acting to a world of insanity,
Too sensitive to accept or condone this bizarre & painful external world. 
The soul considers the choice to continue, or to opt-out. 

Many revert  back to the only source of solace - self-medication -
anything to disassociate from reality. 
These props continue to trap you in continual dependancy & dis-ease. 

When the time is right, lives are turned around and the light emerges
from the darkness. Perhaps those you pre-arranged for guides  
to intervene in your life, to offer those answers. 
To offer support and understanding. 

Ultimately humility is developed from these experiences. 
You tested yourself & all those around you, you now know 
you are the only one who needs to be there for you.
Your ego drives are lessened. 
Your soul is made stronger from the adversity.
You know nothing will ever be as traumatic as the past. 

Talking about all you went through helps to release the pain, 
people offer support instead of condemnation,
love instead of rejection and 
speaking your truth is the best medicine. 

You are an example to others that they can endure 
such trauma & also survive to heal themselves. 
No longer do u feel a victim of those outside yourself,
There is no one to blame, as all was allowed by you -
You have passed the initiation - 
You appear like a star rising from the underworld. 
A phoenix from the ashes. 

 Since you have now travelled to the edge of your existence,
 met with destruction head on & overcome your fear of death,
You can now start living life to the fullest. 
Shadows dissipate and light streams into the darkness.
Spirit forms into matter and life's questions 
are answered. 

Walking through the pillars of the 11, into the new, you are reborn. 
External opposition no longer affects you or holds you back - 

No one has any power over you anymore.. 
Gold emerges from lead, Love from fear, Order from chaos.
You realize that the depths you went to - 
will be equalled by the heights that you can climb.

This experiential learning gives you the gift to heal others, 
As only the wounded healer can truly do -
with real compassion & humility; 
With empathy & grace, that comes as a result of 
surviving your 'trials by fire', 
of walking a similar path - 
In personal spiritual death & rebirth of the soul.

Dedicated to all the brave souls I have met in my own 'trials by fire,' all those who are still standing & to all those who have flown back home...


  1. Really true and thoughtful piece. Yes the world is insane and chaotic filled with misery. Often those who point this out are ridiculed and cast out. We are all guilty at some level and you obviously speak from much experience.

  2. Thanks 2nd Sight.. Well i've encountered so many people who have endured some serious darkness & trauma - including myself. Some are still stuck there, others have healed themselves & are now healing others because of what they went through..
    The pendulum swings both ways & when it comes back the other way, you can start to see why you went through what you can forgive others, and be free again..
    In speaking out, i hope that other people will feel its ok to do so & stop suffering in silence -
    Talking about our past traumas, helps release them.. and believe me, everyone has them...

  3. Have you been reading my diary? Lol. Well all of the above describes me perfectly...except maybe the happy healthy healing part at the end? I have no idea what stage of this process I am in. Hearing how others deal with the intensity of every day life on this sad old planet gives me hope. Much love.